love from abroad

i got my emploi du temps today (for those of you who are not french speakers - my schedule for work). turns out, i only have to work mondays and wednesdays. that is ridiculous. think about it - i could leave on a wednesday night for monaco and stay there for 5 whole days. i could jump on the train and go into london for a long weekend. i could catch a flight to morocco or moscow, budapest or barcelona...i have so much freedom! alas, i have not nearly as much money and will be getting a second job.

i just finished talking with brad on the phone. it feels like we are a car ride apart still. i've had long distance relationships before but never with anyone i ever really saw a future with. it was not something i valued as much as something i was too lazy to define. but this is so different - i feel the way about this as i do about my family and my home when i'm away. it's like an inherent longing for that which makes me a complete person. i've never actually imagined myself feeling this way. maybe i thought it was all overly romantic crap that didn't really exist in the real and complicated mind. and it's not even that romantic when you really break it down and analyze it. it's just love - it's something you can't help and wouldn't want to change. it's something that grows inside of you despite of yourself. it's something wonderful.